Supporting your HIV-positive partner, family member, friend, or colleague, is a journey all on its own. We take you through some important things to consider when you support your loved one.

If you’ve recently been tested for HIV, and your results confirmed you are HIV-positive, hop over to our Just Diagnosed section. AllLife helps you, step by step, through the journey of living with HIV.

HIV has changed your world

As your loved one has adapted to living with HIV, so have you. Life does look a little different now, and you may have changed your routines and lifestyle too. Let’s consider a few ways life may have changed since you found out about your loved one being diagnosed with HIV.

How to monitor your loved one’s HIV treatment:

Adapting to a daily treatment programme for HIV can be a little scary. But, by around the 3-month mark, the side effects of HIV treatment should have settled. Similarly, the routines around taking ARVs every day, attending scheduled medical appointments, and ensuring good health, are settled into your lifestyle. If you have found your partner, family member, or friend needs a little help remembering to take their medication, find ways to make it fun, or a part of your day you do together. For example: when you take your daily vitamin supplements, do it at the same time they do.

How to time your support for people living with HIV:

The journey of living with HIV can feel all-consuming at some points and, at other times, it can feel a lot easier. Don’t discount that you too will have these ebbs and flows of life, just as living as an HIV-negative person does too. There may be times where your loved one needs a little extra help, and other times where they feel they need to do things independently. Go with their flow and needs, and don’t try to determine their needs ahead of time. Simply ensure you make yourself available for when they need you, and similarly make time for yourself. You can do this by:

• Keeping track of when they need to attend their medical checkups. Ask if they’d like you to attend these appointments with them. Whether they do or don’t, is entirely up to them.
• Keeping track of their medications and prescriptions. This is easier, of course, if you live together, but don’t do it in such a way that takes away your loved one’s power and control over their treatment programme. At the 3-month mark, they should be well-accustomed to the regular routine of their treatment programme.

How to adapt a healthier HIV-aware lifestyle:

By now, your loved one has shifted their lifestyle somewhat. They may be eating more healthily, exercising more frequently, and taking a little more care in how they run their days. Join in on their exercise if you enjoy it too, and celebrate the end of the day by cooking healthy meals together. There’s an opportunity here to ensure both of you get to have a good day: turn what most consider chores into a moment to spend together. If you’ve found that things are turning a little too routine, consider:

• Suggesting a change in exercise routine. This could be helpful, especially as the seasons change. Make sure your loved one’s doctor or clinic sister confirms a change in exercise programme is suitable for your loved one’s lifestyle and treatment programme.
• Experimenting with something different: Maybe it’s a fabulous new healthy eating cookbook. Spend a month trying out new recipes together, and you may find some new favourites to add to your family’s meal plan.

What does an HIV-responsible lifestyle mean for you?

While living with HIV is a journey on its own, loving someone with HIV is too. If you find you are battling to deal with your emotions, or the situation relating to your loved one’s HIV status, it’s time to consider counselling, or joining a support group. There are several types of online and in-person support groups for people affected by HIV, and not just people who are HIV-positive. Your loved one’s doctor or clinic sister should be able to recommend a suitable support service for you.

Should you be taking HIV PrEP?

If you are in a sexual relationship with your HIV-positive partner, it may be good to consider starting Pre-exposure prophylaxis. Also known as PrEP, this form of HIV preventative medication can help to reduce your risk of contracting HIV. We’ve explained a little more about how you can access PrEP in South Africa, and how it works in another article.

Motivation for continuing the path of HIV-aware living:

As someone who supports and loves a person living with HIV, you’re doing a great job! Don’t let uncertainty lead you. People living with HIV who follow their treatment programme accordingly now have the same life expectancy as someone who is HIV-negative. Now that your loved one is well into their ARV treatment programme, they should be feeling better, thinking more clearly, and we know they’re grateful to have you by their side.